Intimate Friendship with God – taken from journal of Sept 16, 2015

September 16

me: So You will increase our hunger if we don’t get more hungry on our own. This sounds like a set-up to create desperation.

You: There is both a collective and an individual basis and context. Chronology will work out the collective part. Personal intimacy with Me determines the individual bit.

me: I want more personal intimacy with You, Lord. I get in Your way all too often and I apologize for it. Part of it is reaction to circumstances (well…it all is, but…) part of it is not being aware of when I am just tired and vulnerable – wrong timing for things, so I get edgy and snappy and complain-y.

I still so need You to prioritize my time for me. I trust that we will (You and I) improve in this area of my living. I really need Your help – continual – in this arena.I’m obsessed with my apparent failure in this department.

You: You’re always a bit obsessed about something you think you’re failing at. There’s always this striving going on, this dis-satisfaction with one part of you or another. Why not forget you and just think of Me? I will take care of all the you stuff. You know I will.

me: Yes, I do. It’s not that I don’t trust You to do it. It’s just the inferiority habit, I guess.

You: That’s exactly what it is. And the old you-without-Me is surely inferior. But with Me in your spirit, we are not inferior. We are perfect. 

me: I know You are, but I do not think: “We are perfect.” It seems wrong.

You: Well, is it not “we” when I inhabit your thinking? You know I inhabit your spirit. And you are truly desirous of My inhabiting your mind, will, emotions and your body too with My perfect Life, right? So when you resist the “we are perfect” idea, you are fighting against what you say you desire.

me: Right. That is true, I guess.

You: It’s still always a matter of agreement. If you agree with Me then you must act like you do. Don’t always be fault finding with yourself (or anyone else.) If you’re going to be disorganized, at least be free in it and enjoy it. If not, then be free in that and enjoy it. Don’t be fighting all the time with yourself. That causes instability/double-mindedness.

me: Right..Of course it would.

You: If I AM in you (and I AM,) then allow Me to do everything. It’s really that simple.

me: Gee, You really do try to get me to understand and do this. So many times and ways You’ve said this – just like in John 15 and on. You say it and then You restate it. And then You try a new way to say the same thing. Very Creative, You.

You: Of course. Creator Me!

me: What hinders my understanding from becoming a transformational revelation? 
You: It is that already. The revelation and transformtion are just being a process, but you want them to be instantaneous.

me: Don’t You? Don’t You want them to be instant?

You: Well, that’s an interesting one. Instant can often equal fleeting. A flash…that does not remain. In fact, most of the time that is what it is.

When the revelation and understanding are slowly built upon by putting to use what you know, your foundation becomes unshakeable. This is what I want, don’t you?

me: I want what You want, Lord.

You: I know this! And you struggle with whether or not you measure up to good stewardship or not. Let it go! Not the stewardship but the struggle, the self-judging. Just be free. If you would just release all that to ME, all your relationships would change! All of them.

You see, people interpret your own self-judgement and condemnation, in a reflective way, on themselves. It un-eases them. This is part of the personality of a prophet. And this is part of your struggle. My prophets have always struggled in this, because they take themselves too seriously! Wonderful people, really great hearers, but complicated lives. Unnecessarily. When did you ever meet (or read) a joyful prophet?
me: Never, I guess.

You: Well, listen to ME now! I want you to be a joyful prophet! That does not mean that people will always want  to hear what you say. But My joy in you is your strength. If this is so, then anything that wars against My joy weakens you, and you must put it out the door. Leave it!

me: Amen. So be it! Help me to spot it and put it out!

You: Of course. I would never instruct you to do anything that I will not help you with. Ever.

me: Thank You. I so need You at all times, Dear.

You: And…strange as it may seem, I need you as well…to be in agreement with Me. I need this. This is essential. Not just you, of course, but definitely you.

me: Hmmm…It is an interesting feeling, that I am needed by You, as I’ve always felt that You’d use whatever You have available, even a donkey or a tree or a rock. You didn’t need me! You’d always have whatever You need, because You are God. You know?

You: While all of that is true, those implications are not true – that you are so insignificant that it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t “work out” with you. You do matter. It does matter…especially to you! I need your involvement with
Me and it does matter. Yes, it does.

me: Thank you for that clarification. I guess I felt it led toward a feeling of self-importance which would be bad.

You: What is important to your self is doing My will – getting on with the plans and purposes. This is not self-importance. This is the mission. The emphasis is not on self. It is on the goal. And your ultimate goal is Me.

me: Right. That’s the right perspective.
You: Not in My kingdom. That never happens where I AM reigning over My Life. How could it? That which I create and recreate will never wither and die. I’m not referring to an unregenerated soul life. I’m referring to My Spirit soaked, Spirit governed Life in you…or anyone. That Life, My Life, does not fade away – ever. So use what I give you.

me: Okay! Help it to not be like work please.
You: Oh, you! You always divide things up into work or pleasure. It’s all the same thing in Me. Try to see that. Can’t you try to see that?

me: Yes, I will.
You: Thank you. It will be helpful to Me and to you.

me: That’s this new concept again of being helpful to You.

You: Oh, come on. It’s not new. My people are always asking Me (or telling Me) what they can do for Me.

me: Well, I’ve just not thought about being Your helper, I guess. Your child, yes. Your servant, yes. But somehow “helper” is different in my mind. I don’t know why. I guess I thought it was falsely humble to think of being servant and overly prideful to think of being assistant…as if You needed anything. I mean, You’re God. You help us! We don’t help You…or so I thought.

You: You are My voice on Earth. Not only you, of course, but, yes you. So is it necessary for My voice to speak? 

me: Yes.
You: Is it necessary for the owners of the voice or the hearers?

me: Both, I guess.
You: Correct.
me: Okay. You need Your will to be done and it is done through us..if we allow. So, I guess You do need us.
You: If people are to see the Truth of My Love and My Life, it can only happen through the lives of those whose wills are lined up with Mine. This is the only way it happens. It is the Plan.

me: I know that but I always deflect feeling important – an important part of anything.

You: That’s because of your pre-Me soul training. Forget all that false humility and inferiority. Just leave it behind. Really leave it! Put it out.

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