Category Archives: Uncategorized

Decision making

Leave a reply

Greeting, All,

Sorry I’ve been so silent! It’s been a busy time, and I’ve got LOADS to share with you and catch up on! I will DO this…soon, I promise. (Now I must, because I’ve promised! Clover, DO it, Girl! ) But I was just moments ago hanging up the laundry in the sweet ylang ylang scented breeze, and had the following thoughts:

I think that we. as born again believers can have a tendency to think that because we have the Spirit of the risen Lord within us, that He automatically has us making the right decisions….that He will bless whatever we decide to do in our knowledge that He is not only with us but within us. Either that, or we go to the other extreme and are paranoid to make any decisions at all without being sure we’ve heard from Him on the matter, and then we often forfeit the opportunity altogether, by making no decision at all because we don’t want to make the wrong one! So we just let life do it for us without exercising our power to choose. I’ve seen this in my own self over the years, as I’ve been learning and growing. I know lots of folks who do one or the other… or both, depending on the circumstances!

I’d like to address the first one first: Do we generally make the right decisions because we have the Holy Spirit abiding within us?

Well, we certainly do have the opportunity to make the right decisions because we have the Holy Spirit abiding within us. But then there are two other key pieces:

1. Do we invite Him into our decision making process, realizing that He always knows best,sees the end from the beginning, and is actually interested in being a part of all we do…momently? Do we subject ourselves to His perfect wisdom in the matter?

2. Then, once having received His Mind on the matter, do we actually heed it by acting in agreement upon it. Awhile ago, He suggested that I view what is commonly known as obedience as agreement with Him. He said I would be happier that way. (He is so painstakingly kind, patient, and merciful!) Once agreed with, however, then action is required to appropriate the agreement, like signing a document.

Now, while it is true that He does “cause all things to work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes…” (we do and we are…) it is also true that the rest of that verse goes on to say: “…who walk according to the Spirit and not according to the flesh.” The walking is the action taken in agreement with His Spirit. It implies the superimposition of His will over our soulish tendencies, regardless of how noble they may appear. (One too many “o”s…”good but not God, as they say.”) Yes, He will always work with what He’s got, and go to Plan A,B,C or D in His mercy to lead us in His ways. And if we are quick to acknowledge our errors, when we make them, He is instant to forgive. Better than instant…We have already been forgiven on the cross, but our humbling ourselves, before His Love, when we see our misjudgement is always key to shortening the lesson!

To the second point – the letting life decide for us technique: More often than not, this method of decision making amounts to just following the path of least resistance. But we need to be mindful that resistance has three possible sources:

1. Is it our own resistance…the stubborn, yet-to-become-unfallen parts of our soul?

2. Or are the lesser powers-that-be- (both spirit and human ones) resisting?

3. Or is God, by His Spirit, checking us with warnings and promptings not to proceed in a certain direction?

So often we ask, “Is this seeming to be so impossible because it is just not “meant to be?” Or is the resistance/hindrance/opposition I feel or experience happening because I am actually doing something right, and so my invisible adversary is putting up roadblocks to hinder me from moving in the right, God-led direction? The One, who knows us infinitely better than we know ourselves, also knows the answer to this question, and He never plays “hard-to-get.” He invites us to ask! He says He answers even before we ask! But we must ask. His answers will always be confirmed in more than one manner, including in His scriptural Word, received in His wisdom and by His Spirit. If it seems as if His “arm is short or His ear is hard of hearing,” He has assured us in His Word that this is NOT the case, but that there is iniquity interfering….standing in the way. So…we go looking for it, first within ourselves. “Iniquity, are you in here?” If God does not reveal it to us there in our hearts, then the chances are very good that there is a spiritual iniquity that is purposefully hindering the way forward, in which case, we stand against it, by the Life and in the name of Jesus (I like to use His Hebrew name, Jeshuah,) and command it to depart to the foot of the Cross.

That’s all I’ve got for now…

In love,

Clover

A couple new pieces of art work

1 Reply

Here’s a picture of our grand-daughter, Autumn Grace. I call her Peach. So the title of this pic is Beach Peach, as here she is investigating the fascinating rocks along the shore.

Beach Peach
water colour

Beach Peach in Bright Sun

And here’s another recent picture of Autumn, called Princess Peach

Princess Peach
coloured pencil

Christmas Thoughts

1 Reply

Dear Ones,

In this welcome moment of quiet, to breathe and reflect,
I now have a spot of time to share some Christmas thoughts:

The bottom line of anything significant is Love.

Here I am, surrounded by love of the dearest family ever (to me!)
and the most lush display of tropical splendour!
The sun shines hot and golden and the breeze blows cool and crisp…
like a perfect autumn afternoon…
but it’s a Caribbean morning. After the night-time rain fall,
all the clean shiny leaves on trees bounce brilliant white
sparkles of sunlight from their satin green bodies.
And their trees cast dancing filigree shadows
in chiaroscuro play all around me!

And I feel the tender Love of our Creator in the extravagance of His creation.

I am continually touched by the personalness,
if I can coin a new word, of God. Unlike the God depicted in my youth,
He is not impersonal and neither is the realm of His kingdom
an abstract void of detachment. To the contrary,
He is so filled with Love for us that He worked out a way
for a Son to be born into this earth to provide an eternal opportunity
for man to be reinstated with his original birthright from creation…
full and complete access and intimate relationship with Himself.
Intimate friendship. Holy communion with the Creator of All!
He knows our every desire, strength and weakness, and completely loves us –
no strings attached! He shows us this Love in a myriad of ways.
And as we live, it is His desire that we learn to see, hear, sense,
and appreciate this more and more…
and that we might express our gratitude
with the same Love we have received so abundantly.
(It has been given…Have we received it?)

The holiday of Christmas is a mishmash of so many things.
But the true event of the birth of the long-prophesied Messiah is sweetly sung
through scripture and echoed in the beautiful carols that find their way home
in the hearts of those who are listening. It is the most bitter-sweet
story of all stories, that is historically true, and not a myth.
Perhaps this contributes to the pang of pathos
that is often felt by many at this time of year.

There is joy and then there is this…this feeling.
Some chalk it off to emotions and family memories (the good and not so good.)
Some say it’s a loneliness. Some call it depression, and an effort is made
to scoop up lonely individuals to be sure they are not alone on Christmas…
and to surround them with love.

There is both merry-making and solemn reflection.
And this happens, whether people are “believers” or not!
This is interesting to me.
Somehow, God calls to us in our hearts. Knocks on the door:

“Is there room in the inn? Oh, Please? Special Delivery! Please find some room! ”

The bottom line of anything significant is Love.
This idea is as old as Eden! But surely it’s worth repeating.
It may well be the only thing worth repeating, as I live and breathe.

May you continually experience the richness of God’s exquisite Love and grace
right now, where you are, and in the year to come!

love,

Clover

Gratitude

Leave a reply

I am paying attention,in the aftermath of these hurricanes, to the things that we consider the simple necessities of life in today’s world: water, electricity, phone, and internet. The sudden removal of them demands adjustment. The return of them causes such appreciation for them! Presently Hilltop has water but nothing else. Gingerbread Hill has water (never left) and power (restored) but not the other two. How THRILLED we are with electricity! Oh, wow…what a service! We’ve had it back for few days now, even if intermittently, but all I can say is, “Wow! I LOVE electricity! Thank you, Ben Franklyn and God, for giving him the idea!” (He was a strong believer, you know.)

And my thoughts go to the places that have NONE of the services above…either as a result of hurricane, earthquake, flood, or other disaster, maybe they have never even had them properly to begin with. PoInt: How blase we become when we have all. How we take them for granted! Lord, may we NOT take these blessings for granted. As evidenced, they could all be removed in a moment. May we remain grateful at all times for these and all the many other blessings in our lives. Lord, please help us to keep our hearts soft with gratitude, I pray. Please help us to remain consciously aware of Your goodness and Your grace, on a momently basis, not as if expecting them to disappear at any time, but just in humble gratitude, for “every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning. – James 1:17

Regarding Montserrat: Surely all of us here realize that we dodged two “BIGUNS.” But I feel certain that it was no more luck or good fortune than it was that we are such wonderfully godly people that we “did not deserve” to be thrashed by Irma or Maria…with all Montserrat’s been through, (considering Hugo and the loooong volcanic siege, etc…) No, we humans are ALL alike in God’s eyes, and He loves us ALL equally. That said, I know that prayers are never ultimately in vain, and we certainly did pray. I do believe though that for Montserrat God has a very particular purpose which was laid out many, many decades ago. My prayer is that we, here on the ground, would perceive being spared from Irma and Maria as a wake-up call, as we look around and see what the other islands experienced. I pray that this would register, individually and collectively, as a humbling. Its opposite, pride, stands ever in the way of God’s will being done. I’m reminded of 2 Chronicles 7:14 : “If My people who are called by My name, will humble themselves and pray and turn from their unrighteous ways, then will I hear them from Heaven and I shall heal their land.” Montserrat has needed healing for a LOOOONG time now. We on this island and all the others so need your healing touch, Father. We so need a keen awareness of YOU and Your Goodness, to put things in right perspective. And true humility is the key. Ya can’t fake it. It has to dawn in the heart as an awakening. Lord, I pray for a Great Awakening on this little island and on all the islands of the sea. I so long for this that I can see it in my spirit. May we never take Your goodness for granted, as something we might deserve or that we can work for and earn. Your goodness is Your free gift, made available to us through Your dear Son, in Whose name I pray. Amen – So be it!

Flying Lessons! (SOLD)

1 Reply

 “Flying Lessons!”  Acrylic on canvas (SOLD)

Memories of “flying” on my father’s feet when I was small, and of “flying” my own children and grandchildren in the same manner. The dolphins showed up as a bit of a playful afterthought, as I reckon that’s what they’re doing too…practicing flying!

Availability, Perspective and the Wind

1 Reply

Another recent one, from this morning, actually:

Saturday, September 9, 2017

me: Lord, instruct me today. As you know, I’m reading about man’s great awakenings to You on this Earth. I’m trying to understand what’s necessary for this to happen – individually and collectively. I want to understand and to experience this in my life/our lives – here where we are – with the people around us, whoever they may be. Show me, Lord. Teach me. Help me to grasp You and Your Life better and more effectively, I pray. I do not want to live life-as-usual. I want to live Your Life, even if it means I must experience Your death. Help me to die to self so that You can live more fully through me, I pray.

You: There is nothing impossible for Me, as you know. And you fully believe this although you’ve not  personally seen many examples of physical miracles. Some but not many, You will though – all in My timing. I love to do the impossible! And you love to see it done….and you long to see it done. I’ve placed this desire in your heart and so it will be fulfilled.

One thing: When you’ve prayed for others, you do not always know if they recover or not…unless they’ve told you. People usually don’t, (like the nine lepers.) You do not always know if they were healed or the prayers were answered. (Here the Lord gave me personal instructions regarding a friend of mine and told me to call her and encourage her and pray for her. I did, and she confirmed that it was He who had me call her.)

me: Thank You for Your prompting. I love You. Please show me what to do next. Please guide us momently in these increasingly interesting times. Please speak in my heart and help me to hear whatever You say, I pray. Lord, I only want to listen for You, hear you, and obey.

Please meet me where I am in my quest for More of You, I pray. Please help me to be focused on YOU and Your Love above all else. You and Your Love are most important above all else. It is You, Lord, that we need. You. You. I praise You and thank You for Your goodness. May Your will be done re Florida and Hurricane Irma. Lord, are the winds in Your hands or in ours? Tell me.

You: The winds are generally in the hands of the prince of the power of the air, the temporary ruler of this world system. You do have authority over him because I have authority over him. And I Am in you .

me: One person does? Then why were the islands hit? Surely many people were praying – people who truly know and love You, and know who they are in You.. Why then all that massive destruction? We prayed Irma would swing north and miss us, but also that it would go out to sea and not hit any land. The first part was answered but not the second part…not by along shot, with all the islands that were hit and are being hit full-on…including two places where we used to live.

You: Men…sow the wind and reap the whirlwind. There is consequence. Yet I do work all things together for the good of those who love Me and are called for My purposes…who walk not after the flesh but after the Spirit. I do this.

I see the end from the beginning. I see the Glory of the end of the end times. You can’t see it, but I can. Humility is different from defeat and victimization. All these people will have a choice to make. Which will they choose? Genuine, start-over humility or self pity? It will be a strategic battle. (It always is.) For some people, a completely new and victorious life will now begin – all old things passed away, and all made new. They will have found Me in the wind. These people will be forever changed for the Good. They will not be the majority. But they will emerge from the storm, helping others and putting themselves last. Loving others. There’s always the hope, in crisis and tragedy, that Love will prevail. Let Love prevail.

This is only the beginning of what is to come as the world is turned topsy-turvy in upheaval, physically and every other way. Only the beginning. Now is when your hillside will truly become Beacon and Refuge. You will shine My Light and take people into My Love. It is your raison d’etre. It’s why you’re here.

As things darken around you, you will become brighter. This is true of all believers. It is in the darkness that the Light is more visible. It is necessary darkness, so that people can see…Me – in you, My people. So rejoice in all circumstances. As you love to quote, “Aslan is (indeed) on the move.” – CS Lewis from The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. So you must not be moved from your faith by all that you’ll see. But be moved by your faith. That’s what “Do not be moved” means. Stand strong in Me and the power of Who I AM. These are practice days of training. Drills. Use what you know in order to become fit for what comes next. All is true about My provision and goodness and grace. All is also true about faith growing by means of being exercised and used. So…don’t be moved by what you see and hear.

Let My Spirit move you instead, to greater glory and a greater manifestation of My Life in you. This only happens by opportunity to use the faith I’ve placed within you. And the love. And the wisdom. And the grace. And the power. And the strength. When you habitually use all of these, you enable My Life to flow out through yours. You then are partaking of the Tree of Life, and there will be no choice but to produce the fruit that comes from it…from Me. I will use all you have experienced – ALL for My good purposes. All of it. You may trust that this will be. You will see it happen. You will not use it. I will. You will see. That’s what I do.

Don’t concern yourself with what you perceive as the short-comings of others. Just pray for them that their way is opened and obstacles to My purposes removed. That is what to do. When you see the obstacles, just speak to them in your Spirit and by My Spirit. Do not dwell on them. Just  rebuke them. This will minimize their effect. That’s how it works. Speaking about the obstacles enables them to maintain their manifestation. Speaking to them whittles away at them, diminishing them, regardless of what the person may actually be doing to fortify them, maintain them, or eliminate them. That is up to that person. But what you can do in the secret place does make a difference. And a time will come when a speedy manifestation of this will be clear and evident: the undeniable evidence of Me in the midst of all. The time is coming. Just do what you know to do, be a good steward,and be patient, knowing that patience has her perfect work. Time is relative. I AM absolute. Rest in Me.

The “work” is actually allowing Me to live and move and have My being in and through you. That is the work: Being able to consistently adjust and maneuver in order for Me to live through you. At first it feels inconvenient – like a bother- because of old habits of ways of being. But then you realize that it’s actually your old ways that are truly the inconvenient bother – for My purposes! So your perception changes. And then it doesn’t seem self- sacrificial at all…because you know too much. You’ve learned otherwise! Perspective is everything. And perspective becomes accurate in the right Light and at the right angle: by the Light of My Word and from above. See? And so…things are rarely as they seem…from below and by any other lights.That’s why I keep reminding you that they are rarely as they seem. I do keep reminding you this, don’t I? Still with Me?

me: Yes. Still here and listening. I will re-read this one probably lots. I so need to have better, clearer under-standing, perspective, vision, clarity, compassion, effectiveness. You know what I need. You know exactly, Father, and I trust the process to You. 

You: Good. But you are part of the process. It never happens to you. It can’t. Your part, the part you play is key. It is not passive. It is active. Many of My people think that resting in Me is passive. But you’d be amazed at how active, (in My way,) the “resters” are! But because it is I who do the work through them, their energy & youth are renewed.

People, My people, do not always have this balance. Some go, go, go until they collapse. If they will be led by My Spirit and My peace, they’ll be led into restoration, good sleep and vitality all as a part of the leading. In crucial times this may not be the case. There are exceptions. But generally I provide a balance, via momently leading.

Sometimes My people have established patterns/schedules based on what did happen and what was successful. However, you must always be available to shift and adapt to the momently leading, and then you’ll not find yourself enslaved by structures of time or any other elements that you, yourself, have established! See?

me: Yes, I see how that happens.

You: And it happens to perfectly good “My people!” Your enemy knows how structure-dependent most people tend to be, and capitalizes on it. Now… there are those who will say that the ones who flow freely with My Spirit are “so heavenly minded that they’re no earthly good…” that they’re undisciplined. Here again we have the conflict between the law and the Spirit. Which one to submit to? You know the answer. But if the religious do not intimately know My Spirit, (or Me, by My Spirit,) then they will be unable to discern or recognize My Presence. So they are not to blame. They are just honestly mistaken because of ignorance of My Spirit. That’s all. They do not know. And trying to explain it will usually not accomplish very much in the right direction. You just have to live it before them so that they have the opportunity to see the difference between the law and the presence of My Spirit. How else?

Yes, My Word does refer to this. And you are to be the embodiment of My Word. It does not always reveal itself – even to those seeking Me in it. Man’s predispositions must be over-ridden. And this is most uncomfortable for people to submit themselves to, especially at first…this death to the old un-renewed self.

A great awakening has always begun with a person or a few people who are willing to do this and live My Life. This example to others brings about their transformation. So renewal begins with you as you learn to live My Life and live it well. The more available you are to My Life, the more contagious it is. See? It flows out. I flow out. I cannot help but do it. It is inevitable. It must happen. But it begins with your availability. And that begins with your agreement with Me. Availability depends upon agreement. Think about it. It’s always true.

– This was quite a long conversation this morning…to write out and then to type out after that! I hope it wasn’t not too long for you to follow. I pray that you found/find something meaningful in it. Even further personal conversation and clarity followed what I’ve shared, regarding a fascinating recent dream that I had two nights ago about the tangible manifestation of healing. I’ve yet to determine whether to share that part or not. 😉

 

The Main Ingredient for a True Great Awakening

Leave a reply

I am breaking the continuity of posting chronologically beginning from two years ago.I think it is too timely, this conversation that I had yesterday, for it to wait. I hope and pray that it is a blessing to you.

August 31, 2017
What is Needed for a Great Awakening

me: What is necessary, Lord, for a true Great Awakening?

You: True Humility, which only comes about with the revelation of My Son

me: So it’s the chicken and egg thing again, it seems. We need Jesus to awaken… and we need to awaken to see Jesus.

You: Yes, but Jesus is the Awakener and was before all else was – together with ME. So He comes first so that I can be seen. That’s why HE came to Earth – so that people could see and experience Me and My love personally. So He will always come first regarding things prayed for.

me: How to shed the religious trappings and just seek Him/You? What will cut through the trappings if disaster – continuous – has no effect? Not that You cause disaster, but you will certainly allow it. What will bring about the humility for awakening?

You: An outburst of My Love in action. If My people were to truly love – each other and those outside their circles – the visible strength and power of My Love will grow and become too obvious to ignore. If for no other reason but envy, people will turn their hearts to Me to experience what they see in My people who actually LIVE my Love.

me: And how best to live Your Love?

You: Momently, as always – being led by My Spirit. I love to lead you in loving. I AM Love. Yest My people are so far from Me and My Love! Caught up in the cares of the world – letting the little foxes spoil the vine. It is as if My own people actually have no freedom to choose what they will think, say and do. They’ve fallen prey to the ruler of their world and it is a sad sight to see…people playing church and playing house, as if truly in covenant with Me. It is all a play…until they get in trouble and then listen to them wail for Me! It is a haughty , pretentious generation that will come to its knees.

me: Lord, may it happen supernaturally and not by another natural disaster, I pray.

You: if enough people truly unite (and who is to say what is enough? It could be a very few if truly united together and with Me and My loving purposes…) But if, in Truth and according to Me, enough people truly unite and with Me, I will be in their midst with all the signs and wonders you could ever hope for! That’s not difficult for Me, you know. It is only “hardness of heart and slowness to believe” that keeps this from happening. You see? I LOVE. My Love must be real in the people who call themselves Mine. I must be Real in every aspect of their lives…and if not every, at least one! That is not asking to much, is it? Is that asking too much of the ones who say they are My people? What makes them “My people?” A prayer prayed once upon a time to ask Us into their hearts? Growing up “going to church?” A desperate prayer for help now and then when they’re in trouble? A quick “prayer” for a needy friend with “in Jesus’ name” tacked on the end? People need to look at themselves, see where they truly stand,then completely abandon themselves by looking at ME…and leave their self-driven ways and habits in MY hands to change them from the inside out. It’s always been this way and is no different today. It’s called death to self so that We can truly make our home within you …and feel at home abiding there…rather than having Our hands tied. You see Montserrat as hobbled – unable to move forward. Now picture this: Here is your Creator, invited in, yet not allowed to move at will. That is the situation. And the only remedy is Love, which will bring about true and genuine humility, which will enable Love to grow, which will BE the Awakening, itself!

me: Well, wow! You certainly answered my question! Thank you. Now may I choose Your Love at all times and in all ways! Show me, Lord. Open my eyes to your ever present and infinite Love so that I can freely share it in new ways – in every way -I pray!

You: This is why you are not going North. You need to be here when the tide comes in.

me: !

You: Yes, trust Me.

-a bit later-

You: People do truly believe that I just turn My back on their iniquities because My Love for them is greater than all their sin. (These are My people I’m talking about – the ones  who call themselves Mine.) They persist in their sin of greed and dishonesty and disloyalty and dishonour. And they depend on My grace, established at the Cross, to keep them somehow from falling away altogether.

Listen! My grace IS infinite and my Love also, and they have been forgiven. But people’s choices create the realities that they will have to be responsible for – one way or another. It is wickedly difficult to stand with one foot on the shore and one in the boat. Through trial and error the lot is cast. It’s infinitely easier to simply rest in Me for all decision making. Let Us help you.

I  do not punish sins. Sin, itself, was punished forever and also forgiven on the Cross. Your earthly sins, themselves, however, do create their own effects that are hellish in nature. That’s  just the way it works. So My Love never diminishes though sin abounds, and I can cause all things, including missing the mark, to work together for the good of those who love ME and are called according to My purposes…who walk not after the flesh but after the Spirit. My Love is All in All. My Love creates ITS own effect which is beautiful in all its ways. Better to choose ME – always better to choose My Love when choosing time arrives.

When people become complacent, they are not very available to Me although I AM always available to them. I do not back off – ever. People do – by the choices they make: the things they think, say and do. I Am not ignorant of these things they do. I see all. I am grieved that they (the people who call themselves Mine) trust themselves more than they trust Me. They must turn the trust of their hearts to Me truly…and it must be a continual habit that they choose to create, in order to UNdo the negative habits that rule their souls. There is great power in choosing. How I desire for people to choose My blessing and My Life! All too often, a crossroad is reached and there is not even the acknowledgement that there IS a crossroad…a choice to be made. Habit carries them on their way. And out of their mouths proceeds unpleasantness. This should not be. My people who are called by My name  are called also to be fountains of sweet waters…not bitter ones. Choose My Life. Speak My Life. Live My Life. You do this by loving with My Love.

Remembering / Dying to Self / Vision & Influence- taken from 09/20-29/2015

Leave a reply

September 20,2015 – Two Kinds of Amnesia

I was reading this morning about forgetting past transgressions, and I realized that this is Divine Amnesia, as contrasted to forgetting who we are in Christ, which is the “damnable amnesia,” that I have written about in song. Christ says to keep Him in remembrance at all times. He says to the disciples, “Have you so quickly forgotten the loaves and the fishes? Are your hearts so quickly hardened? Couldn’t you remember to stay awake with Me and pray for Me? Have you forgotten who I AM? Are your hearts still so hard?” ( my paraphrasing of Mark 8:17, Mark 14, etc…)

So, there are two kinds of forgetfulness:
God’s kind – We forget past mistakes and sin nature, the old things that are passed away and we become new creations.

Deception’s  kind – We forget who we are in Christ (“for he sees himself in a mirror and walks away… forgetting what manner of man he is.”) – James 1:24

 

September 22, 2015 – Dying to Self

me: Lord, I give these human stupidnesses in me to You and trust You with them. Thank You. You are all that matters, and somehow I’ve turned down the volume of You, And I’m so sorry…It never happens intentionally, But You know that, of course, because You know everything. Everything there is to know and more. Thank You for Your generosity with Yourself and all that You are. You are faithful and true and I want to be like You. But I lose my temper and get stupid sometimes…as You know. Help me to wear Your worthiness from the inside out. That’s the only way it can happen. Everything else is “works” to try to strive to attain, when You keep saying it has all been attained by You for us already. Why can I not just stay peaceful and joyful? Why do I give me such a hard time?

You: Because you don’t love you as I do. You can’t possibly…until you also die for you as I did. Your form of it is ever so much easier than Mine was. Just do it. Just reckon yourself dead.

me: Reckon. Figure. Calculate. Consider as one. Come to the conclusion. But I keep seeing that I’m still very much alive and kicking!

You: But how much you kick is up to you.

 
me: So You say.

You: Yes, so I say. And you say you want to hear and do what I say.

me: I do. You know I do. (I remind myself of Peter…”Lord, You know I love you…”)

You: Then do it.

 

September 29,2015 – Vision and influence

me: Open the apertures, Lord! Help your people to truly see each other as You do and to love each other as You do, without restraint or conditions. Help us to truly see, love, and live Your abundant Life.

You: This is all I long to do. Do My people ever wonder what I long for? Or are their musings and strivings always about what they long for? It seems so. But conditions will change this. Conditions will cause them to become desperate for Me and to know what I desire of them. It’s always been this way. But it needn’t be so. There are some who realize that they can be desperate for Me here and now – in all situations, whether apparently “good or bad.”

Once again, it is the heart that I look at. It is the heart of people that matters to Me and ought to matter to them…because all the rest is fluff and incidental. You see, I long for all of you – just as I place within you a desire for All of Me. It is in and by this synergy that mountains are moved and nations transformed.

me: Lord, what of Nee’s idea that believers should not hold public office? He said government of towns, states, nations, is under control of this wordly system and that it cannot be changed via entering it. Yet Your Word says that You allow their appointment and election – nothing happens behind Your back – and that we are to pray for our leaders.

You: That is because of history’s record that rather than being a light in the darkness, the darkness has influenced the people of Light who have tried. Worldly power either corrupts or it discourages and removes hope. The track record has not been good.

When My people demanded a king, they rejected My rule via prophets and priests…who did have their own curruption challenges, it’s true. But the people wanted to be as other nations, with a king as leader. It’s what people want. But leaders and kings are so corruptible! There is only One who is not. And He will rule and reign in His time.

 
me: So nix to influence from within government bodies?

 
You: No, not nix. Nee was really saying that more influence can be wielded from without the system in the way of intercession, intervention, and the practical standing in and for My Light. In other words, given a choice, choose to stay outside it and influence from there…as everyman – only regenerated man… My Man.

The struggle has been for My regenerated (usually very partially so, at that,) person to even maintain the Light he enters office with – not even to mention increasing it. The powers that oppose are strong and overwhelming. That’s why it is truly the exceptional person who can make progress from within the system. It’s not impossible…in the same way that miracles are possible. Unfortunately, although they are very possible, they are very infrequently realized, due to opposing forces. Outside the system there is less chance of power play, except by individuals with controlling temperaments who have a personal agenda. Intercede. Intervene. Stand in and for My Light.

Intimate Friendship with God – taken from journal of Sept 16, 2015

Leave a reply

September 16

me: So You will increase our hunger if we don’t get more hungry on our own. This sounds like a set-up to create desperation.

You: There is both a collective and an individual basis and context. Chronology will work out the collective part. Personal intimacy with Me determines the individual bit.

me: I want more personal intimacy with You, Lord. I get in Your way all too often and I apologize for it. Part of it is reaction to circumstances (well…it all is, but…) part of it is not being aware of when I am just tired and vulnerable – wrong timing for things, so I get edgy and snappy and complain-y.

I still so need You to prioritize my time for me. I trust that we will (You and I) improve in this area of my living. I really need Your help – continual – in this arena.I’m obsessed with my apparent failure in this department.

You: You’re always a bit obsessed about something you think you’re failing at. There’s always this striving going on, this dis-satisfaction with one part of you or another. Why not forget you and just think of Me? I will take care of all the you stuff. You know I will.

me: Yes, I do. It’s not that I don’t trust You to do it. It’s just the inferiority habit, I guess.

You: That’s exactly what it is. And the old you-without-Me is surely inferior. But with Me in your spirit, we are not inferior. We are perfect. 

me: I know You are, but I do not think: “We are perfect.” It seems wrong.

You: Well, is it not “we” when I inhabit your thinking? You know I inhabit your spirit. And you are truly desirous of My inhabiting your mind, will, emotions and your body too with My perfect Life, right? So when you resist the “we are perfect” idea, you are fighting against what you say you desire.

me: Right. That is true, I guess.

You: It’s still always a matter of agreement. If you agree with Me then you must act like you do. Don’t always be fault finding with yourself (or anyone else.) If you’re going to be disorganized, at least be free in it and enjoy it. If not, then be free in that and enjoy it. Don’t be fighting all the time with yourself. That causes instability/double-mindedness.

me: Right..Of course it would.

You: If I AM in you (and I AM,) then allow Me to do everything. It’s really that simple.

me: Gee, You really do try to get me to understand and do this. So many times and ways You’ve said this – just like in John 15 and on. You say it and then You restate it. And then You try a new way to say the same thing. Very Creative, You.

You: Of course. Creator Me!

me: What hinders my understanding from becoming a transformational revelation? 
You: It is that already. The revelation and transformtion are just being a process, but you want them to be instantaneous.

me: Don’t You? Don’t You want them to be instant?

You: Well, that’s an interesting one. Instant can often equal fleeting. A flash…that does not remain. In fact, most of the time that is what it is.

When the revelation and understanding are slowly built upon by putting to use what you know, your foundation becomes unshakeable. This is what I want, don’t you?

me: I want what You want, Lord.

You: I know this! And you struggle with whether or not you measure up to good stewardship or not. Let it go! Not the stewardship but the struggle, the self-judging. Just be free. If you would just release all that to ME, all your relationships would change! All of them.

You see, people interpret your own self-judgement and condemnation, in a reflective way, on themselves. It un-eases them. This is part of the personality of a prophet. And this is part of your struggle. My prophets have always struggled in this, because they take themselves too seriously! Wonderful people, really great hearers, but complicated lives. Unnecessarily. When did you ever meet (or read) a joyful prophet?
me: Never, I guess.

You: Well, listen to ME now! I want you to be a joyful prophet! That does not mean that people will always want  to hear what you say. But My joy in you is your strength. If this is so, then anything that wars against My joy weakens you, and you must put it out the door. Leave it!

me: Amen. So be it! Help me to spot it and put it out!

You: Of course. I would never instruct you to do anything that I will not help you with. Ever.

me: Thank You. I so need You at all times, Dear.

You: And…strange as it may seem, I need you as well…to be in agreement with Me. I need this. This is essential. Not just you, of course, but definitely you.

me: Hmmm…It is an interesting feeling, that I am needed by You, as I’ve always felt that You’d use whatever You have available, even a donkey or a tree or a rock. You didn’t need me! You’d always have whatever You need, because You are God. You know?

You: While all of that is true, those implications are not true – that you are so insignificant that it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t “work out” with you. You do matter. It does matter…especially to you! I need your involvement with
Me and it does matter. Yes, it does.

me: Thank you for that clarification. I guess I felt it led toward a feeling of self-importance which would be bad.

You: What is important to your self is doing My will – getting on with the plans and purposes. This is not self-importance. This is the mission. The emphasis is not on self. It is on the goal. And your ultimate goal is Me.

me: Right. That’s the right perspective.
You: Not in My kingdom. That never happens where I AM reigning over My Life. How could it? That which I create and recreate will never wither and die. I’m not referring to an unregenerated soul life. I’m referring to My Spirit soaked, Spirit governed Life in you…or anyone. That Life, My Life, does not fade away – ever. So use what I give you.

me: Okay! Help it to not be like work please.
You: Oh, you! You always divide things up into work or pleasure. It’s all the same thing in Me. Try to see that. Can’t you try to see that?

me: Yes, I will.
You: Thank you. It will be helpful to Me and to you.

me: That’s this new concept again of being helpful to You.

You: Oh, come on. It’s not new. My people are always asking Me (or telling Me) what they can do for Me.

me: Well, I’ve just not thought about being Your helper, I guess. Your child, yes. Your servant, yes. But somehow “helper” is different in my mind. I don’t know why. I guess I thought it was falsely humble to think of being servant and overly prideful to think of being assistant…as if You needed anything. I mean, You’re God. You help us! We don’t help You…or so I thought.

You: You are My voice on Earth. Not only you, of course, but, yes you. So is it necessary for My voice to speak? 

me: Yes.
You: Is it necessary for the owners of the voice or the hearers?

me: Both, I guess.
You: Correct.
me: Okay. You need Your will to be done and it is done through us..if we allow. So, I guess You do need us.
You: If people are to see the Truth of My Love and My Life, it can only happen through the lives of those whose wills are lined up with Mine. This is the only way it happens. It is the Plan.

me: I know that but I always deflect feeling important – an important part of anything.

You: That’s because of your pre-Me soul training. Forget all that false humility and inferiority. Just leave it behind. Really leave it! Put it out.

from September 13 and 15, 2015

Leave a reply

– taken from journal of September 13, 2015:

I was talking to You about needing a “looking forward to” thing in my head for focus and motivation.

You: How about looking forward to spending the day with Me? In fact, why look forward when I Am present: here/now? Why not enjoy each part of us now and here?

me: I tend to excuse myself from that while doing chores, don’t I? Like…as soon as I get these chores done, I will be able to do this or that. I know You say to do the chores with You and it will be joy. But I’m still not doing it. Not really.

You: It’s just a matter of training your thoughts to agree with Mine. We can think anything together while chore doing. That’s one of the beauties of mundane chores – body is busy but mind and heart are free to be with Me! Plus – being consciously present with Me gets the work done faster.

Me: What is this tiredness and pain that slows me down?

You: You’re just being tested..and not by Me. The enemy tests you and I use it to bless you if you let Me. I do not test people, usually. But you may put Me to the test whenever you like. Never assume that an apparent hardship is a test from ME. It is a test, yes, and I will meet you in it and power you through it to use it as a stepping stone. In retrospect, it is regarded as a test. But I don’t set it up. Circumstances, free will, and the adversary all set up the obstacle course. But I see all, and I Am the power to move you through it. Every test is a blessing if you let Me bless it by responding to it in agreement with Me.

Thoughts: As I was trying to experience You in apple peeling, You showed me the beauty of the fruit. I said, (cheeky me!) “Yeah, this is probably a genetically modified apple.”

You: Ask My blessing on it and it will nourish and do you no harm.
September 15
me: Lord, I only want to do everything with You. You know this is true. Please continue to help me be lead-able and not to get jammed up about “time.”

You: I’ve shared with you about time – how My time is different. It would be useful for you to review.

Me: Lord, help me to live in Your kairos at all times, for that is what manages the chronos succesfully, (however You deem successful chronos management.) I assume it is simply good stewardship. I want to be an excellent steward of all that You give me. Please help me to do this. Only You can. I love You. You are so loving and generous to share with us all that You are! How blessed we are to be Yours and to be led by Your Light! I’m jus sayin…Your goodness  is overwhelming.

You: Good! It’s meant to be that way.That is My pure intention. If I were not perceived as overwhelming, My people would be self-satisfied. And we know that self cannot satisfy. Only I can satisfy My people, and you must know, for certain, that there will always be too much of Me for you to comprehend. There will always be an over-abundance of all of My good things and all My things are good! And I am never the one to cut them off – to turn off or turn down the supply. It will always be your ability to take and share/import/dispense that monitors the amount you can perceive and receive.
This is key. And this is the crux of stewardship. So..how do you increase your ability to perceive and receive more of Me? By being with Me momently and by using what I give you. This opens the aperture to let more light in…to see better and more clearly by.
It often seems like a chicken/egg thing to you. You need to do this to get more of Me but you need more of Me to be able to do it. I know. But…regarding chickens and eggs: I made the chicken first.

Me: And that means…

You: It means that if you will focus on Me, all else will follow. Just see Me, lean on Me, trust Me, hear Me, love Me. Everything else is in Me and will fall into place. (Matthew 6:33.) Fix your eyes on Me alone in everything you do. Everything with no exceptions. That would be the discipline of removing your eyes from self and from circumstance – dying to self-based responses and allowing  Me to respond in and through you instead.

Me: You try so many different ways to tell me the same thing! Patient You! Thank You for never giving up on Your beloved children!

You: I could never. It is not in Me to do. I Am true and faithful. I Am the definition of those words. Now you may become true and faithful as a result.

Me: I want to be true and faithful! You know I do.

You: Yes, I do know this, and you are becoming the expression of My life through your life. You don’t see it happening, but I do. It is happening. In fact, although “it” is not complete, the exchange of My life for yours – in that the process is a transition in My kairos – it is finished…ipso facto.

Me: You always bring it back to the beginning again, but with more light and understanding.

You: Yes, that’s what I do. Because I love you. And because you ask! So many people (My people) ask amiss – they want their desires met in Me. They don’t yet realize that if they were to surrender their desires to Me, I would meet them where they are with My desires placed into their hearts…bringing us into agreement. Then their prayers are answered! It’s not as if I don’t want them to be happy with their little wants catered to. It’s just that I’d rather they be overwhelmed with My meeting their great desires and the Good longing in their hearts for more of Me and All of Who I AM… in them to be lived! It’s big. So much bigger than My people understand. BIG. Infinite and eternal, that’s Me. Who I Am. And My people are existing on the crumbs, a mere survival diet of Me. And this cannot and will not continue. If hunger does not increase, I will increase it.