Tag Archives: intimate friendship with God

This Global Sabbatical

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Hi, All. I have been primarily a lurker, as this has been a time of reading, listening and learning for me. But today I thought I would share a little something from my own heart (not someone else’s forward!) I believe that God would have me wait until my frequent ponderings become real knowings, before I share. So…here’s a fresh little piece of what I’ve come to see and know personally in my own life, for whoever should care to read it:

In this Global Sabbatical, (which will open the way for a World-Wide Awakening,) I’ve discovered some real blessings. One of them is the removal of the “bookends,” in my old, everyday life, that I always got bent out of shape about! These would be the things/obligations/ chores/appointments/duties that forced a temporary stop to my creative activities. Mind you, it is that I REGARDED it as a forced stop, and that was my error! In reality, it was just a shift into a different form of creativity (that I didn’t “enjoy” as much…But that too is my choice! I COULD enjoy it if I choose to. It ALL comes down to choosing how we will respond to whatever presents itself, none of which is “behind God’s back.”

So…in this global sabbatical, everything is changing. And I sincerely trust that it is for the Good. Life’s activities morph into each other without bookends. It’s a time of reprieve. Of grace. Of transformation. Of shifting tides. Of fluid motion, rather than the awkward stops and starts that became our routine lives. A time that affords greater sensitivity to others and a more delicate response to them. A more loving response to all of life. No bookends. Week days blend into weekends, each day initiated and closed by the daily unique glories of sunrise and sunset, blazing across the skies! Each night graced beneath the deepest blue velvet sky, resplendent with trillions of sparkling jewels… the heavenly lights that declare the glories of our magnificent Creator! And we have the gift of Time: to see, to appreciate, and applaud the One who sees all, loves all, and is all-faithful to meet us where we are. Wherever that may be, God is there, loving us and reaching into our hearts for agreement. That place, that possibility-point of union is Love. And it is my choice whether or not to be the love I long to see.
In Christ, this and so much more is made possible! In Christ, I am liberated to choose to love in every circumstance: abundance and lack, health and illness, joy and sorrow, strength and weakness, wisdom and ignorance, patience and exasperation, understanding and confusion…life and death. I am learning to be content in all situations…and to live His love in and through them. And what I have not yet learned to do I am in the process of learning…which gives YOU a great opportunity to exercise patience with me! Haha! We can rejoice in our weaknesses, knowing that God’s own joy is our strength! Knowing that His Love meets us where we are, no matter who we are.

We will all come through this changed and changing…renewed, revived. Awake. We will all, not only those who have passed on “to a broader vision,” awaken in a new place. We all have the opportunity to experience a death to what is counterproductive in our lives. It is a global sabbatical which will fling open the gates to a World-Wide Awakening. I truly believe this. I believe that what the enemy has intended for evil, God will turn into Good. And “the enemy” is NOT each other; is not a leader, a party or a country.

I fully believe that every tragedy can be turned into a triumph, if we allow God to change our own hearts. I have seen this on many levels and scales in my own life. My prayer is for us to truly SEE whatever we are looking at, and LEARN from it by being willing to allow God’s love to change our own hearts. How can 2 Chronicles 7:14 come to pass without the first condition being met…by us? DO we humble ourselves and pray and turn from our selfish ways? How can this even be possible when we point our collective finger, fault find and degrade/disgrace the powers that be? How can God heal a land, for instance, that is ripped in two by hatefulness, deceit, judgmental-ism and disrespect? I wonder these things, sitting out here on my small green dot in the wild blue sea.

Prayer levels the playing field, places everyone on the common ground of child-likeness (not childish-ness. The two are very different!) Jesus said, “You must be as a child to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.” It is in this simple position of being a child who truly doesn’t know the answers, but is willing to be taught, that I come to this page. This trying time is a great opportunity for us all to give God permission to change us into people who look much more like who He created us to be in the first place. For what it’s worth, I believe it. May it be so! Selah…..

Christmas Thoughts

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Dear Ones,

In this welcome moment of quiet, to breathe and reflect,
I now have a spot of time to share some Christmas thoughts:

The bottom line of anything significant is Love.

Here I am, surrounded by love of the dearest family ever (to me!)
and the most lush display of tropical splendour!
The sun shines hot and golden and the breeze blows cool and crisp…
like a perfect autumn afternoon…
but it’s a Caribbean morning. After the night-time rain fall,
all the clean shiny leaves on trees bounce brilliant white
sparkles of sunlight from their satin green bodies.
And their trees cast dancing filigree shadows
in chiaroscuro play all around me!

And I feel the tender Love of our Creator in the extravagance of His creation.

I am continually touched by the personalness,
if I can coin a new word, of God. Unlike the God depicted in my youth,
He is not impersonal and neither is the realm of His kingdom
an abstract void of detachment. To the contrary,
He is so filled with Love for us that He worked out a way
for a Son to be born into this earth to provide an eternal opportunity
for man to be reinstated with his original birthright from creation…
full and complete access and intimate relationship with Himself.
Intimate friendship. Holy communion with the Creator of All!
He knows our every desire, strength and weakness, and completely loves us –
no strings attached! He shows us this Love in a myriad of ways.
And as we live, it is His desire that we learn to see, hear, sense,
and appreciate this more and more…
and that we might express our gratitude
with the same Love we have received so abundantly.
(It has been given…Have we received it?)

The holiday of Christmas is a mishmash of so many things.
But the true event of the birth of the long-prophesied Messiah is sweetly sung
through scripture and echoed in the beautiful carols that find their way home
in the hearts of those who are listening. It is the most bitter-sweet
story of all stories, that is historically true, and not a myth.
Perhaps this contributes to the pang of pathos
that is often felt by many at this time of year.

There is joy and then there is this…this feeling.
Some chalk it off to emotions and family memories (the good and not so good.)
Some say it’s a loneliness. Some call it depression, and an effort is made
to scoop up lonely individuals to be sure they are not alone on Christmas…
and to surround them with love.

There is both merry-making and solemn reflection.
And this happens, whether people are “believers” or not!
This is interesting to me.
Somehow, God calls to us in our hearts. Knocks on the door:

“Is there room in the inn? Oh, Please? Special Delivery! Please find some room! ”

The bottom line of anything significant is Love.
This idea is as old as Eden! But surely it’s worth repeating.
It may well be the only thing worth repeating, as I live and breathe.

May you continually experience the richness of God’s exquisite Love and grace
right now, where you are, and in the year to come!

love,

Clover

Availability, Perspective and the Wind

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Another recent one, from this morning, actually:

Saturday, September 9, 2017

me: Lord, instruct me today. As you know, I’m reading about man’s great awakenings to You on this Earth. I’m trying to understand what’s necessary for this to happen – individually and collectively. I want to understand and to experience this in my life/our lives – here where we are – with the people around us, whoever they may be. Show me, Lord. Teach me. Help me to grasp You and Your Life better and more effectively, I pray. I do not want to live life-as-usual. I want to live Your Life, even if it means I must experience Your death. Help me to die to self so that You can live more fully through me, I pray.

You: There is nothing impossible for Me, as you know. And you fully believe this although you’ve not  personally seen many examples of physical miracles. Some but not many, You will though – all in My timing. I love to do the impossible! And you love to see it done….and you long to see it done. I’ve placed this desire in your heart and so it will be fulfilled.

One thing: When you’ve prayed for others, you do not always know if they recover or not…unless they’ve told you. People usually don’t, (like the nine lepers.) You do not always know if they were healed or the prayers were answered. (Here the Lord gave me personal instructions regarding a friend of mine and told me to call her and encourage her and pray for her. I did, and she confirmed that it was He who had me call her.)

me: Thank You for Your prompting. I love You. Please show me what to do next. Please guide us momently in these increasingly interesting times. Please speak in my heart and help me to hear whatever You say, I pray. Lord, I only want to listen for You, hear you, and obey.

Please meet me where I am in my quest for More of You, I pray. Please help me to be focused on YOU and Your Love above all else. You and Your Love are most important above all else. It is You, Lord, that we need. You. You. I praise You and thank You for Your goodness. May Your will be done re Florida and Hurricane Irma. Lord, are the winds in Your hands or in ours? Tell me.

You: The winds are generally in the hands of the prince of the power of the air, the temporary ruler of this world system. You do have authority over him because I have authority over him. And I Am in you .

me: One person does? Then why were the islands hit? Surely many people were praying – people who truly know and love You, and know who they are in You.. Why then all that massive destruction? We prayed Irma would swing north and miss us, but also that it would go out to sea and not hit any land. The first part was answered but not the second part…not by along shot, with all the islands that were hit and are being hit full-on…including two places where we used to live.

You: Men…sow the wind and reap the whirlwind. There is consequence. Yet I do work all things together for the good of those who love Me and are called for My purposes…who walk not after the flesh but after the Spirit. I do this.

I see the end from the beginning. I see the Glory of the end of the end times. You can’t see it, but I can. Humility is different from defeat and victimization. All these people will have a choice to make. Which will they choose? Genuine, start-over humility or self pity? It will be a strategic battle. (It always is.) For some people, a completely new and victorious life will now begin – all old things passed away, and all made new. They will have found Me in the wind. These people will be forever changed for the Good. They will not be the majority. But they will emerge from the storm, helping others and putting themselves last. Loving others. There’s always the hope, in crisis and tragedy, that Love will prevail. Let Love prevail.

This is only the beginning of what is to come as the world is turned topsy-turvy in upheaval, physically and every other way. Only the beginning. Now is when your hillside will truly become Beacon and Refuge. You will shine My Light and take people into My Love. It is your raison d’etre. It’s why you’re here.

As things darken around you, you will become brighter. This is true of all believers. It is in the darkness that the Light is more visible. It is necessary darkness, so that people can see…Me – in you, My people. So rejoice in all circumstances. As you love to quote, “Aslan is (indeed) on the move.” – CS Lewis from The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. So you must not be moved from your faith by all that you’ll see. But be moved by your faith. That’s what “Do not be moved” means. Stand strong in Me and the power of Who I AM. These are practice days of training. Drills. Use what you know in order to become fit for what comes next. All is true about My provision and goodness and grace. All is also true about faith growing by means of being exercised and used. So…don’t be moved by what you see and hear.

Let My Spirit move you instead, to greater glory and a greater manifestation of My Life in you. This only happens by opportunity to use the faith I’ve placed within you. And the love. And the wisdom. And the grace. And the power. And the strength. When you habitually use all of these, you enable My Life to flow out through yours. You then are partaking of the Tree of Life, and there will be no choice but to produce the fruit that comes from it…from Me. I will use all you have experienced – ALL for My good purposes. All of it. You may trust that this will be. You will see it happen. You will not use it. I will. You will see. That’s what I do.

Don’t concern yourself with what you perceive as the short-comings of others. Just pray for them that their way is opened and obstacles to My purposes removed. That is what to do. When you see the obstacles, just speak to them in your Spirit and by My Spirit. Do not dwell on them. Just  rebuke them. This will minimize their effect. That’s how it works. Speaking about the obstacles enables them to maintain their manifestation. Speaking to them whittles away at them, diminishing them, regardless of what the person may actually be doing to fortify them, maintain them, or eliminate them. That is up to that person. But what you can do in the secret place does make a difference. And a time will come when a speedy manifestation of this will be clear and evident: the undeniable evidence of Me in the midst of all. The time is coming. Just do what you know to do, be a good steward,and be patient, knowing that patience has her perfect work. Time is relative. I AM absolute. Rest in Me.

The “work” is actually allowing Me to live and move and have My being in and through you. That is the work: Being able to consistently adjust and maneuver in order for Me to live through you. At first it feels inconvenient – like a bother- because of old habits of ways of being. But then you realize that it’s actually your old ways that are truly the inconvenient bother – for My purposes! So your perception changes. And then it doesn’t seem self- sacrificial at all…because you know too much. You’ve learned otherwise! Perspective is everything. And perspective becomes accurate in the right Light and at the right angle: by the Light of My Word and from above. See? And so…things are rarely as they seem…from below and by any other lights.That’s why I keep reminding you that they are rarely as they seem. I do keep reminding you this, don’t I? Still with Me?

me: Yes. Still here and listening. I will re-read this one probably lots. I so need to have better, clearer under-standing, perspective, vision, clarity, compassion, effectiveness. You know what I need. You know exactly, Father, and I trust the process to You. 

You: Good. But you are part of the process. It never happens to you. It can’t. Your part, the part you play is key. It is not passive. It is active. Many of My people think that resting in Me is passive. But you’d be amazed at how active, (in My way,) the “resters” are! But because it is I who do the work through them, their energy & youth are renewed.

People, My people, do not always have this balance. Some go, go, go until they collapse. If they will be led by My Spirit and My peace, they’ll be led into restoration, good sleep and vitality all as a part of the leading. In crucial times this may not be the case. There are exceptions. But generally I provide a balance, via momently leading.

Sometimes My people have established patterns/schedules based on what did happen and what was successful. However, you must always be available to shift and adapt to the momently leading, and then you’ll not find yourself enslaved by structures of time or any other elements that you, yourself, have established! See?

me: Yes, I see how that happens.

You: And it happens to perfectly good “My people!” Your enemy knows how structure-dependent most people tend to be, and capitalizes on it. Now… there are those who will say that the ones who flow freely with My Spirit are “so heavenly minded that they’re no earthly good…” that they’re undisciplined. Here again we have the conflict between the law and the Spirit. Which one to submit to? You know the answer. But if the religious do not intimately know My Spirit, (or Me, by My Spirit,) then they will be unable to discern or recognize My Presence. So they are not to blame. They are just honestly mistaken because of ignorance of My Spirit. That’s all. They do not know. And trying to explain it will usually not accomplish very much in the right direction. You just have to live it before them so that they have the opportunity to see the difference between the law and the presence of My Spirit. How else?

Yes, My Word does refer to this. And you are to be the embodiment of My Word. It does not always reveal itself – even to those seeking Me in it. Man’s predispositions must be over-ridden. And this is most uncomfortable for people to submit themselves to, especially at first…this death to the old un-renewed self.

A great awakening has always begun with a person or a few people who are willing to do this and live My Life. This example to others brings about their transformation. So renewal begins with you as you learn to live My Life and live it well. The more available you are to My Life, the more contagious it is. See? It flows out. I flow out. I cannot help but do it. It is inevitable. It must happen. But it begins with your availability. And that begins with your agreement with Me. Availability depends upon agreement. Think about it. It’s always true.

– This was quite a long conversation this morning…to write out and then to type out after that! I hope it wasn’t not too long for you to follow. I pray that you found/find something meaningful in it. Even further personal conversation and clarity followed what I’ve shared, regarding a fascinating recent dream that I had two nights ago about the tangible manifestation of healing. I’ve yet to determine whether to share that part or not. 😉

 

The Main Ingredient for a True Great Awakening

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I am breaking the continuity of posting chronologically beginning from two years ago.I think it is too timely, this conversation that I had yesterday, for it to wait. I hope and pray that it is a blessing to you.

August 31, 2017
What is Needed for a Great Awakening

me: What is necessary, Lord, for a true Great Awakening?

You: True Humility, which only comes about with the revelation of My Son

me: So it’s the chicken and egg thing again, it seems. We need Jesus to awaken… and we need to awaken to see Jesus.

You: Yes, but Jesus is the Awakener and was before all else was – together with ME. So He comes first so that I can be seen. That’s why HE came to Earth – so that people could see and experience Me and My love personally. So He will always come first regarding things prayed for.

me: How to shed the religious trappings and just seek Him/You? What will cut through the trappings if disaster – continuous – has no effect? Not that You cause disaster, but you will certainly allow it. What will bring about the humility for awakening?

You: An outburst of My Love in action. If My people were to truly love – each other and those outside their circles – the visible strength and power of My Love will grow and become too obvious to ignore. If for no other reason but envy, people will turn their hearts to Me to experience what they see in My people who actually LIVE my Love.

me: And how best to live Your Love?

You: Momently, as always – being led by My Spirit. I love to lead you in loving. I AM Love. Yest My people are so far from Me and My Love! Caught up in the cares of the world – letting the little foxes spoil the vine. It is as if My own people actually have no freedom to choose what they will think, say and do. They’ve fallen prey to the ruler of their world and it is a sad sight to see…people playing church and playing house, as if truly in covenant with Me. It is all a play…until they get in trouble and then listen to them wail for Me! It is a haughty , pretentious generation that will come to its knees.

me: Lord, may it happen supernaturally and not by another natural disaster, I pray.

You: if enough people truly unite (and who is to say what is enough? It could be a very few if truly united together and with Me and My loving purposes…) But if, in Truth and according to Me, enough people truly unite and with Me, I will be in their midst with all the signs and wonders you could ever hope for! That’s not difficult for Me, you know. It is only “hardness of heart and slowness to believe” that keeps this from happening. You see? I LOVE. My Love must be real in the people who call themselves Mine. I must be Real in every aspect of their lives…and if not every, at least one! That is not asking to much, is it? Is that asking too much of the ones who say they are My people? What makes them “My people?” A prayer prayed once upon a time to ask Us into their hearts? Growing up “going to church?” A desperate prayer for help now and then when they’re in trouble? A quick “prayer” for a needy friend with “in Jesus’ name” tacked on the end? People need to look at themselves, see where they truly stand,then completely abandon themselves by looking at ME…and leave their self-driven ways and habits in MY hands to change them from the inside out. It’s always been this way and is no different today. It’s called death to self so that We can truly make our home within you …and feel at home abiding there…rather than having Our hands tied. You see Montserrat as hobbled – unable to move forward. Now picture this: Here is your Creator, invited in, yet not allowed to move at will. That is the situation. And the only remedy is Love, which will bring about true and genuine humility, which will enable Love to grow, which will BE the Awakening, itself!

me: Well, wow! You certainly answered my question! Thank you. Now may I choose Your Love at all times and in all ways! Show me, Lord. Open my eyes to your ever present and infinite Love so that I can freely share it in new ways – in every way -I pray!

You: This is why you are not going North. You need to be here when the tide comes in.

me: !

You: Yes, trust Me.

-a bit later-

You: People do truly believe that I just turn My back on their iniquities because My Love for them is greater than all their sin. (These are My people I’m talking about – the ones  who call themselves Mine.) They persist in their sin of greed and dishonesty and disloyalty and dishonour. And they depend on My grace, established at the Cross, to keep them somehow from falling away altogether.

Listen! My grace IS infinite and my Love also, and they have been forgiven. But people’s choices create the realities that they will have to be responsible for – one way or another. It is wickedly difficult to stand with one foot on the shore and one in the boat. Through trial and error the lot is cast. It’s infinitely easier to simply rest in Me for all decision making. Let Us help you.

I  do not punish sins. Sin, itself, was punished forever and also forgiven on the Cross. Your earthly sins, themselves, however, do create their own effects that are hellish in nature. That’s  just the way it works. So My Love never diminishes though sin abounds, and I can cause all things, including missing the mark, to work together for the good of those who love ME and are called according to My purposes…who walk not after the flesh but after the Spirit. My Love is All in All. My Love creates ITS own effect which is beautiful in all its ways. Better to choose ME – always better to choose My Love when choosing time arrives.

When people become complacent, they are not very available to Me although I AM always available to them. I do not back off – ever. People do – by the choices they make: the things they think, say and do. I Am not ignorant of these things they do. I see all. I am grieved that they (the people who call themselves Mine) trust themselves more than they trust Me. They must turn the trust of their hearts to Me truly…and it must be a continual habit that they choose to create, in order to UNdo the negative habits that rule their souls. There is great power in choosing. How I desire for people to choose My blessing and My Life! All too often, a crossroad is reached and there is not even the acknowledgement that there IS a crossroad…a choice to be made. Habit carries them on their way. And out of their mouths proceeds unpleasantness. This should not be. My people who are called by My name  are called also to be fountains of sweet waters…not bitter ones. Choose My Life. Speak My Life. Live My Life. You do this by loving with My Love.

Remembering / Dying to Self / Vision & Influence- taken from 09/20-29/2015

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September 20,2015 – Two Kinds of Amnesia

I was reading this morning about forgetting past transgressions, and I realized that this is Divine Amnesia, as contrasted to forgetting who we are in Christ, which is the “damnable amnesia,” that I have written about in song. Christ says to keep Him in remembrance at all times. He says to the disciples, “Have you so quickly forgotten the loaves and the fishes? Are your hearts so quickly hardened? Couldn’t you remember to stay awake with Me and pray for Me? Have you forgotten who I AM? Are your hearts still so hard?” ( my paraphrasing of Mark 8:17, Mark 14, etc…)

So, there are two kinds of forgetfulness:
God’s kind – We forget past mistakes and sin nature, the old things that are passed away and we become new creations.

Deception’s  kind – We forget who we are in Christ (“for he sees himself in a mirror and walks away… forgetting what manner of man he is.”) – James 1:24

 

September 22, 2015 – Dying to Self

me: Lord, I give these human stupidnesses in me to You and trust You with them. Thank You. You are all that matters, and somehow I’ve turned down the volume of You, And I’m so sorry…It never happens intentionally, But You know that, of course, because You know everything. Everything there is to know and more. Thank You for Your generosity with Yourself and all that You are. You are faithful and true and I want to be like You. But I lose my temper and get stupid sometimes…as You know. Help me to wear Your worthiness from the inside out. That’s the only way it can happen. Everything else is “works” to try to strive to attain, when You keep saying it has all been attained by You for us already. Why can I not just stay peaceful and joyful? Why do I give me such a hard time?

You: Because you don’t love you as I do. You can’t possibly…until you also die for you as I did. Your form of it is ever so much easier than Mine was. Just do it. Just reckon yourself dead.

me: Reckon. Figure. Calculate. Consider as one. Come to the conclusion. But I keep seeing that I’m still very much alive and kicking!

You: But how much you kick is up to you.

 
me: So You say.

You: Yes, so I say. And you say you want to hear and do what I say.

me: I do. You know I do. (I remind myself of Peter…”Lord, You know I love you…”)

You: Then do it.

 

September 29,2015 – Vision and influence

me: Open the apertures, Lord! Help your people to truly see each other as You do and to love each other as You do, without restraint or conditions. Help us to truly see, love, and live Your abundant Life.

You: This is all I long to do. Do My people ever wonder what I long for? Or are their musings and strivings always about what they long for? It seems so. But conditions will change this. Conditions will cause them to become desperate for Me and to know what I desire of them. It’s always been this way. But it needn’t be so. There are some who realize that they can be desperate for Me here and now – in all situations, whether apparently “good or bad.”

Once again, it is the heart that I look at. It is the heart of people that matters to Me and ought to matter to them…because all the rest is fluff and incidental. You see, I long for all of you – just as I place within you a desire for All of Me. It is in and by this synergy that mountains are moved and nations transformed.

me: Lord, what of Nee’s idea that believers should not hold public office? He said government of towns, states, nations, is under control of this wordly system and that it cannot be changed via entering it. Yet Your Word says that You allow their appointment and election – nothing happens behind Your back – and that we are to pray for our leaders.

You: That is because of history’s record that rather than being a light in the darkness, the darkness has influenced the people of Light who have tried. Worldly power either corrupts or it discourages and removes hope. The track record has not been good.

When My people demanded a king, they rejected My rule via prophets and priests…who did have their own curruption challenges, it’s true. But the people wanted to be as other nations, with a king as leader. It’s what people want. But leaders and kings are so corruptible! There is only One who is not. And He will rule and reign in His time.

 
me: So nix to influence from within government bodies?

 
You: No, not nix. Nee was really saying that more influence can be wielded from without the system in the way of intercession, intervention, and the practical standing in and for My Light. In other words, given a choice, choose to stay outside it and influence from there…as everyman – only regenerated man… My Man.

The struggle has been for My regenerated (usually very partially so, at that,) person to even maintain the Light he enters office with – not even to mention increasing it. The powers that oppose are strong and overwhelming. That’s why it is truly the exceptional person who can make progress from within the system. It’s not impossible…in the same way that miracles are possible. Unfortunately, although they are very possible, they are very infrequently realized, due to opposing forces. Outside the system there is less chance of power play, except by individuals with controlling temperaments who have a personal agenda. Intercede. Intervene. Stand in and for My Light.

Intimate Friendship with God – taken from journal of Sept 16, 2015

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September 16

me: So You will increase our hunger if we don’t get more hungry on our own. This sounds like a set-up to create desperation.

You: There is both a collective and an individual basis and context. Chronology will work out the collective part. Personal intimacy with Me determines the individual bit.

me: I want more personal intimacy with You, Lord. I get in Your way all too often and I apologize for it. Part of it is reaction to circumstances (well…it all is, but…) part of it is not being aware of when I am just tired and vulnerable – wrong timing for things, so I get edgy and snappy and complain-y.

I still so need You to prioritize my time for me. I trust that we will (You and I) improve in this area of my living. I really need Your help – continual – in this arena.I’m obsessed with my apparent failure in this department.

You: You’re always a bit obsessed about something you think you’re failing at. There’s always this striving going on, this dis-satisfaction with one part of you or another. Why not forget you and just think of Me? I will take care of all the you stuff. You know I will.

me: Yes, I do. It’s not that I don’t trust You to do it. It’s just the inferiority habit, I guess.

You: That’s exactly what it is. And the old you-without-Me is surely inferior. But with Me in your spirit, we are not inferior. We are perfect. 

me: I know You are, but I do not think: “We are perfect.” It seems wrong.

You: Well, is it not “we” when I inhabit your thinking? You know I inhabit your spirit. And you are truly desirous of My inhabiting your mind, will, emotions and your body too with My perfect Life, right? So when you resist the “we are perfect” idea, you are fighting against what you say you desire.

me: Right. That is true, I guess.

You: It’s still always a matter of agreement. If you agree with Me then you must act like you do. Don’t always be fault finding with yourself (or anyone else.) If you’re going to be disorganized, at least be free in it and enjoy it. If not, then be free in that and enjoy it. Don’t be fighting all the time with yourself. That causes instability/double-mindedness.

me: Right..Of course it would.

You: If I AM in you (and I AM,) then allow Me to do everything. It’s really that simple.

me: Gee, You really do try to get me to understand and do this. So many times and ways You’ve said this – just like in John 15 and on. You say it and then You restate it. And then You try a new way to say the same thing. Very Creative, You.

You: Of course. Creator Me!

me: What hinders my understanding from becoming a transformational revelation? 
You: It is that already. The revelation and transformtion are just being a process, but you want them to be instantaneous.

me: Don’t You? Don’t You want them to be instant?

You: Well, that’s an interesting one. Instant can often equal fleeting. A flash…that does not remain. In fact, most of the time that is what it is.

When the revelation and understanding are slowly built upon by putting to use what you know, your foundation becomes unshakeable. This is what I want, don’t you?

me: I want what You want, Lord.

You: I know this! And you struggle with whether or not you measure up to good stewardship or not. Let it go! Not the stewardship but the struggle, the self-judging. Just be free. If you would just release all that to ME, all your relationships would change! All of them.

You see, people interpret your own self-judgement and condemnation, in a reflective way, on themselves. It un-eases them. This is part of the personality of a prophet. And this is part of your struggle. My prophets have always struggled in this, because they take themselves too seriously! Wonderful people, really great hearers, but complicated lives. Unnecessarily. When did you ever meet (or read) a joyful prophet?
me: Never, I guess.

You: Well, listen to ME now! I want you to be a joyful prophet! That does not mean that people will always want  to hear what you say. But My joy in you is your strength. If this is so, then anything that wars against My joy weakens you, and you must put it out the door. Leave it!

me: Amen. So be it! Help me to spot it and put it out!

You: Of course. I would never instruct you to do anything that I will not help you with. Ever.

me: Thank You. I so need You at all times, Dear.

You: And…strange as it may seem, I need you as well…to be in agreement with Me. I need this. This is essential. Not just you, of course, but definitely you.

me: Hmmm…It is an interesting feeling, that I am needed by You, as I’ve always felt that You’d use whatever You have available, even a donkey or a tree or a rock. You didn’t need me! You’d always have whatever You need, because You are God. You know?

You: While all of that is true, those implications are not true – that you are so insignificant that it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t “work out” with you. You do matter. It does matter…especially to you! I need your involvement with
Me and it does matter. Yes, it does.

me: Thank you for that clarification. I guess I felt it led toward a feeling of self-importance which would be bad.

You: What is important to your self is doing My will – getting on with the plans and purposes. This is not self-importance. This is the mission. The emphasis is not on self. It is on the goal. And your ultimate goal is Me.

me: Right. That’s the right perspective.
You: Not in My kingdom. That never happens where I AM reigning over My Life. How could it? That which I create and recreate will never wither and die. I’m not referring to an unregenerated soul life. I’m referring to My Spirit soaked, Spirit governed Life in you…or anyone. That Life, My Life, does not fade away – ever. So use what I give you.

me: Okay! Help it to not be like work please.
You: Oh, you! You always divide things up into work or pleasure. It’s all the same thing in Me. Try to see that. Can’t you try to see that?

me: Yes, I will.
You: Thank you. It will be helpful to Me and to you.

me: That’s this new concept again of being helpful to You.

You: Oh, come on. It’s not new. My people are always asking Me (or telling Me) what they can do for Me.

me: Well, I’ve just not thought about being Your helper, I guess. Your child, yes. Your servant, yes. But somehow “helper” is different in my mind. I don’t know why. I guess I thought it was falsely humble to think of being servant and overly prideful to think of being assistant…as if You needed anything. I mean, You’re God. You help us! We don’t help You…or so I thought.

You: You are My voice on Earth. Not only you, of course, but, yes you. So is it necessary for My voice to speak? 

me: Yes.
You: Is it necessary for the owners of the voice or the hearers?

me: Both, I guess.
You: Correct.
me: Okay. You need Your will to be done and it is done through us..if we allow. So, I guess You do need us.
You: If people are to see the Truth of My Love and My Life, it can only happen through the lives of those whose wills are lined up with Mine. This is the only way it happens. It is the Plan.

me: I know that but I always deflect feeling important – an important part of anything.

You: That’s because of your pre-Me soul training. Forget all that false humility and inferiority. Just leave it behind. Really leave it! Put it out.

from September 13 and 15, 2015

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– taken from journal of September 13, 2015:

I was talking to You about needing a “looking forward to” thing in my head for focus and motivation.

You: How about looking forward to spending the day with Me? In fact, why look forward when I Am present: here/now? Why not enjoy each part of us now and here?

me: I tend to excuse myself from that while doing chores, don’t I? Like…as soon as I get these chores done, I will be able to do this or that. I know You say to do the chores with You and it will be joy. But I’m still not doing it. Not really.

You: It’s just a matter of training your thoughts to agree with Mine. We can think anything together while chore doing. That’s one of the beauties of mundane chores – body is busy but mind and heart are free to be with Me! Plus – being consciously present with Me gets the work done faster.

Me: What is this tiredness and pain that slows me down?

You: You’re just being tested..and not by Me. The enemy tests you and I use it to bless you if you let Me. I do not test people, usually. But you may put Me to the test whenever you like. Never assume that an apparent hardship is a test from ME. It is a test, yes, and I will meet you in it and power you through it to use it as a stepping stone. In retrospect, it is regarded as a test. But I don’t set it up. Circumstances, free will, and the adversary all set up the obstacle course. But I see all, and I Am the power to move you through it. Every test is a blessing if you let Me bless it by responding to it in agreement with Me.

Thoughts: As I was trying to experience You in apple peeling, You showed me the beauty of the fruit. I said, (cheeky me!) “Yeah, this is probably a genetically modified apple.”

You: Ask My blessing on it and it will nourish and do you no harm.
September 15
me: Lord, I only want to do everything with You. You know this is true. Please continue to help me be lead-able and not to get jammed up about “time.”

You: I’ve shared with you about time – how My time is different. It would be useful for you to review.

Me: Lord, help me to live in Your kairos at all times, for that is what manages the chronos succesfully, (however You deem successful chronos management.) I assume it is simply good stewardship. I want to be an excellent steward of all that You give me. Please help me to do this. Only You can. I love You. You are so loving and generous to share with us all that You are! How blessed we are to be Yours and to be led by Your Light! I’m jus sayin…Your goodness  is overwhelming.

You: Good! It’s meant to be that way.That is My pure intention. If I were not perceived as overwhelming, My people would be self-satisfied. And we know that self cannot satisfy. Only I can satisfy My people, and you must know, for certain, that there will always be too much of Me for you to comprehend. There will always be an over-abundance of all of My good things and all My things are good! And I am never the one to cut them off – to turn off or turn down the supply. It will always be your ability to take and share/import/dispense that monitors the amount you can perceive and receive.
This is key. And this is the crux of stewardship. So..how do you increase your ability to perceive and receive more of Me? By being with Me momently and by using what I give you. This opens the aperture to let more light in…to see better and more clearly by.
It often seems like a chicken/egg thing to you. You need to do this to get more of Me but you need more of Me to be able to do it. I know. But…regarding chickens and eggs: I made the chicken first.

Me: And that means…

You: It means that if you will focus on Me, all else will follow. Just see Me, lean on Me, trust Me, hear Me, love Me. Everything else is in Me and will fall into place. (Matthew 6:33.) Fix your eyes on Me alone in everything you do. Everything with no exceptions. That would be the discipline of removing your eyes from self and from circumstance – dying to self-based responses and allowing  Me to respond in and through you instead.

Me: You try so many different ways to tell me the same thing! Patient You! Thank You for never giving up on Your beloved children!

You: I could never. It is not in Me to do. I Am true and faithful. I Am the definition of those words. Now you may become true and faithful as a result.

Me: I want to be true and faithful! You know I do.

You: Yes, I do know this, and you are becoming the expression of My life through your life. You don’t see it happening, but I do. It is happening. In fact, although “it” is not complete, the exchange of My life for yours – in that the process is a transition in My kairos – it is finished…ipso facto.

Me: You always bring it back to the beginning again, but with more light and understanding.

You: Yes, that’s what I do. Because I love you. And because you ask! So many people (My people) ask amiss – they want their desires met in Me. They don’t yet realize that if they were to surrender their desires to Me, I would meet them where they are with My desires placed into their hearts…bringing us into agreement. Then their prayers are answered! It’s not as if I don’t want them to be happy with their little wants catered to. It’s just that I’d rather they be overwhelmed with My meeting their great desires and the Good longing in their hearts for more of Me and All of Who I AM… in them to be lived! It’s big. So much bigger than My people understand. BIG. Infinite and eternal, that’s Me. Who I Am. And My people are existing on the crumbs, a mere survival diet of Me. And this cannot and will not continue. If hunger does not increase, I will increase it.

More on Agreement – taken from September, 2015 entry

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Sept. 9, 2015

Me:  The Shemita will soon be upon us. Lord, I know the days of bigger trouble are here, around the bend, and I know that all we want is to be in Your will and one, as one, with You. So please help us to do it/be it. I know that You’ve probably “already done everything,” but You have also reminded me of the power of prayer and admonished me to never underestimate it.

So here I am a-prayin, Lord, to know You better, to hear and see You better, to share You better. Please help me do it in practical and miraculous ways – both! You know I long to see people healed and made whole and lives transformed. You know that’s what I’ve always wanted to see and be a part of, Lord. I know that there is no work I can do to earn these answers to prayer.You truly have done all. I know that the “work of the Lord” is to believe You and to believe and act on Your Word. I just don’t do it very well.

 
You:  Stop saying that! It’s not you, who does it, anyway. It is I, in and through you. Just let Me. You let me by believing that I can and will. Anytime you 100% believe that I can do who I Am in your life, you will see what you long for.

the following is the tail end of a lengthy processing of my thoughts after time in the Spirit:

 
me:   Okay, so back to “agreement,” the big theme between You and me. It is highly unlikely that one will find one’s self in agreement with You quite by surprise or accident or…unintentionally. It will not “just happen.” Our pre-You conditioning predisposes us otherwise. It can only happen via acts of our will. This much is quite evident. That is clear. We will not simply wake up one day and find ourselves in agreement with God without some serious intentional decisions…on a momently basis, I will add. This could be off-putting or scary to new believers if not for Your amazing love which wooes us gently into trusting You…as You prove Your faithfulness to us in acts of loving kindness.

Your steadfast love is what has the power to change everything, including our very hearts. Your love is the Great Transforming Power – always has been, always will be! Where would I be, Lord, without knowing You and the power of Your love? I would be another person, altogether, …probably still searching for Truth in this world, but for You who answered my search with Your very Self. I would have experienced ever so much more heartache,I’m sure…due to terrible sabotaging choices…in spite of Your hand always being on me and keeping me generally safe from my self. That was the enemy’s set-up and strategy. And that would have been fulfilled, as in the lives of many of my hippie friends, without the intervention of You, which was actually via David. I am absolutely certain of this. So I should never bemoan unrealized dreams and creative aspirations – even in my thoughts silently…even for a moment.

This returns me to your initial statement today regarding the notion that grumbling is actually synonymous with magnifying the enemy of our souls. When we grumble and grouse, we are lining ourselves up in agreement with the deceiver. What-if-ing the past is useless. But what-if-ing in You, now and in the future, gives place to the application of You to every situation! We can and need to apply You to every situation in our lives – every thought, emotion, word, deed, and response and initiative in every circumstance.

Why begin any interaction or individual project “in the flesh” (on our own, independent of you) and then, midstream, attempt to correct or adjust it into alignment with You…(which may or may not work,) when we can start out in agreement with You at the beginning of all projects and interactions? This is so key and will save us so much time and energy and also spare us the sense of futility which I guess is inevitable when we begin on our own – outside agreement with You. I see the ideal. I can see it. I just do need to act on what I see – on a momently basis.

This is true for all of us. I use me because it’s who I’ve got to practice on and there’s no use sharing with others what I cannot or will not do, myself. And…You want me to share Your realities with others. That’s why I’m doing this.

This typing up of our conversations, however, can loom as somewhat of a chore. Sorry. Lord…I will alter  that perception…or You will, if I let You. As with everything, You transform it with Your joy…if we will allow. It is so much simpler than we perceive, and we do really tend to complicate the whole thing by perceiving challenges, (great or small,) as burdensome, heavy loads to carry or obstacles to overcome. Needlessly! This is how the enemy wants us to perceive things. It is how we “weary in well doing.” It wears us out.

I got a reminder today that the adversary cannot read our minds. He can float thoughts and ideas across them but we can choose whether we take them or let them pass by. Point being: He doesn’t mind-read. If we don’t speak negative thoughts we will not agree with or magnify the power of deception in our lives. The thoughts may well float by, but they “have nothing in us…” unless we agree with them…in which case they actually do, by right of our own consent! It is our job to nip them in the bud and refuse to provide a home and environment for them to grow. Somebody (maybe Kenneth Hagin?) once said, “You can’t keep a bird from flying over your head, but you sure can keep it from making a nest on it!”

The adversary remains a law breaker, breaking Your laws. If we are to break laws they should be the ones set up by him, Deception: the temporary ruler of this world. And those would be laws of sin, sickness and death! “For the law of the Spirit,alive in Christ Jesus, has set us free from the law of sin and death.” – Romans 8:2

 

On the Topic of Agreement – excerpt from an ongoing conversation of August 13, 2015

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You said: Resistance to My Spirit creates the friction which gives Deception a toe-hold. Likewise, resistance to Deception, by remaining in agreement with Me, opens the way to give My Spirit freedom to move in a greater way.

It is usually the hermits, mystics and contemplatives who are the “Mary-s” of this world. Yet I call all of My people to be so. But you see a world of “Martha-s” in this body that calls itself Mine. This cannot continue for much longer. You see, it is possible to be a productive Mary in this world, but it’s only possible when it is I who does the work, the producing.

So, how to be a productive Mary is what you are faced with. And the answer comes back to your momently worship, your momently loving, with and by Me.

I will lead you. If I lead you, you will not feel:

– overwhelmed
– frustrated
– disorganized
– defeated or “not enough”
– or like your efforts are futile and you’re swimming upstream

You may experience these sensations fleetingly but you are to dismiss them immediately, as your reading today advised. This is capturing every thought that exalts itself above your knowledge of who I AM and My knowledge of all that is.

It is amazing how stubbornly My people fight against resting in My finished Work. Really – how many excuses can they come up with? A very creative lot, My people!

Look: If you truly rest in Me, your life – all aspects of it – will be completely different. And can you guess what it will look like? Correct. It will look like My Life. And isn’t that want all of you desire? Isn’t that your collective hearts’ desire? It is my good pleasure to give you your hearts’ desires. They have already been given. But they are yet to be received. When they are received, you will see: blind eyes opened, bodies healed, and lives transformed.

When you walk by faith and not by sight, you are ordering your steps according to who you know Me to be in you. You are allowing Me to direct each step, moment by moment. It is so very much simpler than you imagine!

Your hand will be healed, as well as all of the pains in your body. And your youth will be renewed. You see, although I have not caused the physical pains, I am using them to drive you into the mode-of-being that you need to be functioning in. I am using all of it. So don’t fear. Just let Me do My work in you.

Temperaments, predispositions, physical weaknesses, etc…all of these things are perfectly changeable by Me, if you will just let Me have them! It is so ironic that My people are happy to give Me their strong, “good” parts but they desperately hold on to their weaknesses as if they are defined by them. You are, in actual fact, defined by what you agree with. So why not agree with Who I AM in you? You have no good reason not to. There is no reason not to. You know too much not to. I say this not to pressure you with guilt, but to lead you with the promise of My glory! How people have misconstrued this is an amazement!

I say: I’m sorry we’ve misconstrued so much. I want to order my steps by Your Light of Truth.

You say: You have it. There is no limitation to it either. You may have as much as you like. This is true with all of My resources as long as you and I are in agreement.

I say: And I see how easily we step out of it. I can see how someone could mistakenly think that You generally or even always speak through…me, for instance, when that is only the case if and when I am in agreement with You. If I take You for granted and assume You are speaking through me at most or all times, including when I am not in agreement with You, then I am deeply in error! In those moments of independence from You, I am not at all trust-able. This is how we screw up, in ministry and life in general. We step away from our total dependence on You. I see that very clearly.

You say: Yet you are not to live in trepidation or fear of not being in agreement with Me. You just have to know Me well enough to hear and do. Shepherd – sheep. My wisdom for and in you is infinitely (and I do mean infinitely) greater than anything of yours, apart from Me.

People have so misunderstood “the surrendered life.” It is the most powerful life possible on this Earth, because it is My Life. It is as if My people fear that I do not want them to be happy and fulfilled and blessed, when the opposite it true! They think that surrendering is a huge sacrifice! This is hilarious! As if…anything you “surrender” could compare with what We have done for you at the Cross. Your little sacrifices of this and that matter nothing to Me.

I say:  That sounds harsh.

You say: That’s the problem! It gets perverted, skewed, in mid-air, to “sound harsh.” It is the most loving thing possible. When I say your sacrifices are of no consequence, what I mean is that it is your heart that matters and that is all that matters to Me…that your heart and Mine are one. Agreement is ultimately better than sacrifice.

If you sacrifice a desire for the (correctly or incorrectly) perceived greater good, that does not earn you more Light or blessing or favour with Me. You see, what opens up the aperture is the harmony, the agreement that is experienced in our Love together. When this happens, your surrender or submission is no longer perceived as such. It becomes your joy! 

This is what My people don’t get. And how I wish they did. Paul tried to explain it, but he struggled with the words over and over again… because this can only be understood by the revelation of experience with Me and My Holy Spirit.

Listen: Nothing is worth sacrificing the sweetness of holy intimacy with Me. That is the sacrifice that Adam made. He gave it away! This sacrifice made it necessary for My Son to experience a momentary absence of Our intimacy, in the sins of Adam, in order to re-open the Way for people to choose this original relationship with Me. When people, My people, put this regained intimacy “on hold” while they “do life,” it is the enemy’s victory – to get them to sacrifice Me for a Martha type busy-ness that will never fulfill them.

Don’t ever sacrifice our sweet time together (always time) for doing life the world’s way. Please let Me stay with you and you stay with Me in every single thing you do. Not fanatically, but I will establish a flow to it. You’ll see. Like a melody we will do our days together. No more huff and puff.

I say: You know, Lord, I am very grateful for the idea of this and I know it has to truly transition from idea to reality in my life. I do not want ever to take the reigns back and run the show on my own. Yet You see it happen and so do I. “I do the things I don’t want to do and don’t do what I do want to do, Oh, wretched man am I! etc…” – Paul the apostle

I realize that it is the inherited human condition. I get the idea and I get Your plan to re-do our ways of being. I need help doing it – lots of it! I don’t want to do it half-way. I want to be whole-hearted. I want to be trustable with the treasure of You. I do not wish to take You for granted.

You: I know. That’s why we’re having this conversation.

me: Please help me, supernaturally, to stay on course. I can’t do it otherwise.

You: Nobody can! That’s the whole point, Silly! What a ridiculous expectation to think you could! You always revert back to the you-doing-it place. It is not you...It is I, in you, who does this. The way it happens is by you coming into agreement with Me. This is why I suggested that you think of obedience as agreement rather than obedience. Obedience paints a picture of master and servant. Agreement paints a picture of power, strength, acceptance, willingness, at-one-ness. Synergy. This is what I’m after.

The self-worth yo-yo is completely irrelevant when we are in agreement. It doesn’t even have a place in the picture! My people are still so horribly consumed by the self-worth
drama which leaves Me completely out of the picture! This should not be. And it doesn’t have to be.

You are becoming who I created you to be. You manifest this when you are in agreement with Me. This is true of everyone. I do not have special people whom I love more than others. It is true, however, that as you live life more and more in agreement with Me, you will experience more and more favour, and you will be more and more able to see the blessings that surround you to use them for My glory.

This may look to others as if you are special or as if you are more loved by Me. Not so! It is just the principles of My kingdom at work. My kingdom is functioning on the Earth whenever you allow Me to be your loving king, by simply cooperating with Me.

It’s that simple. People complicate it terribly. Simplify it for them please. Show them how do-able a life in agreement with Me can be. I know you perceive this “showing them” as a big deal. It isn’t – It’s what you were made for. You have it all (Me all) in you. We will do this. But first you must see it for yourself – in operation. And this comes through the momently walk. In the momently walk, the supernatural becomes natural, as I live My life through you. Natural life doesn’t live in fits and spurts. It lives  continuously, moment by moment, until the heart stops beating. My Life is the same, only it never ends. If My Life is continuous, continual and ever flowing, why should you limit yourself to partaking of it sparingly, here and there? Now and then? In portions of the day? As applied to only certain aspects of your living? That’s silly, isn’t it really? Does it make any sense to do that?

me: No. No sense at all, Lord.

You: So come to My senses and let us live life together, as one, please. Do not say, “I will try.” You may choose to allow the excitement you experience in these intimate conversations with Me to over-ride any arguments or rationalizations that come along. (And there will be plenty.) Remind yourself that this is the Big Thing and nothing comes close to it in Bigness. Nothing in your life comes close in size, significance or anything else that you or the deceiver can come up with to compete with it. There is no competing with Me and My great Love.

me:  Right, I guess praying in the Spirit continually is necessary.

You: Of course. And you already do that except when your emotions and defenses interrupt.

me: Right. Can’t let that happen.

You: Right. I’ll be your defense. My Love will be your emotion.

        (Later that night, after expressing my concern that I may have mis-heard something God had told me regarding a particular person and situation:)

You: Listen to you …doubting already. You know that things are rarely as they seem, and I’ve told you this several times before. When this happens, nothing changes the Truth. Just continue to trust Me. Our conversations are not manufactured by you…just so you know for sure. The deceiver’s doing the deceiving job. Don’t worry…you are still a good hearer. But these tests to make you doubt our relationship are inevitable. And they generally come not through strangers but through people you care about. Not that they are against Me – It’s just the form the tests take. The form. The form. Never trust the form, but you can always trust Me in every circumstance. You know this Voice of Mine. You know that you know It. So don’t question what I say – even if it seems not to pan out, even if it seems it couldn’t have been from Me…based on events that may happen. Know that it is from Me. You questioned this today.

Me: Yes, because I want to be sure that I’m not adding things here or there to what You say. Perhaps I am too free to share it.

You: Perhaps. Or perhaps you’re afraid of being perceived as a false prophet!

Me: Hmmm…