– taken from journal of September 13, 2015:
I was talking to You about needing a “looking forward to” thing in my head for focus and motivation.
You: How about looking forward to spending the day with Me? In fact, why look forward when I Am present: here/now? Why not enjoy each part of us now and here?
me: I tend to excuse myself from that while doing chores, don’t I? Like…as soon as I get these chores done, I will be able to do this or that. I know You say to do the chores with You and it will be joy. But I’m still not doing it. Not really.
You: It’s just a matter of training your thoughts to agree with Mine. We can think anything together while chore doing. That’s one of the beauties of mundane chores – body is busy but mind and heart are free to be with Me! Plus – being consciously present with Me gets the work done faster.
Me: What is this tiredness and pain that slows me down?
You: You’re just being tested..and not by Me. The enemy tests you and I use it to bless you if you let Me. I do not test people, usually. But you may put Me to the test whenever you like. Never assume that an apparent hardship is a test from ME. It is a test, yes, and I will meet you in it and power you through it to use it as a stepping stone. In retrospect, it is regarded as a test. But I don’t set it up. Circumstances, free will, and the adversary all set up the obstacle course. But I see all, and I Am the power to move you through it. Every test is a blessing if you let Me bless it by responding to it in agreement with Me.
Thoughts: As I was trying to experience You in apple peeling, You showed me the beauty of the fruit. I said, (cheeky me!) “Yeah, this is probably a genetically modified apple.”
You: Ask My blessing on it and it will nourish and do you no harm.
September 15
me: Lord, I only want to do everything with You. You know this is true. Please continue to help me be lead-able and not to get jammed up about “time.”
You: I’ve shared with you about time – how My time is different. It would be useful for you to review.
Me: Lord, help me to live in Your kairos at all times, for that is what manages the chronos succesfully, (however You deem successful chronos management.) I assume it is simply good stewardship. I want to be an excellent steward of all that You give me. Please help me to do this. Only You can. I love You. You are so loving and generous to share with us all that You are! How blessed we are to be Yours and to be led by Your Light! I’m jus sayin…Your goodness is overwhelming.
You: Good! It’s meant to be that way.That is My pure intention. If I were not perceived as overwhelming, My people would be self-satisfied. And we know that self cannot satisfy. Only I can satisfy My people, and you must know, for certain, that there will always be too much of Me for you to comprehend. There will always be an over-abundance of all of My good things and all My things are good! And I am never the one to cut them off – to turn off or turn down the supply. It will always be your ability to take and share/import/dispense that monitors the amount you can perceive and receive.
This is key. And this is the crux of stewardship. So..how do you increase your ability to perceive and receive more of Me? By being with Me momently and by using what I give you. This opens the aperture to let more light in…to see better and more clearly by.
It often seems like a chicken/egg thing to you. You need to do this to get more of Me but you need more of Me to be able to do it. I know. But…regarding chickens and eggs: I made the chicken first.
Me: And that means…
You: It means that if you will focus on Me, all else will follow. Just see Me, lean on Me, trust Me, hear Me, love Me. Everything else is in Me and will fall into place. (Matthew 6:33.) Fix your eyes on Me alone in everything you do. Everything with no exceptions. That would be the discipline of removing your eyes from self and from circumstance – dying to self-based responses and allowing Me to respond in and through you instead.
Me: You try so many different ways to tell me the same thing! Patient You! Thank You for never giving up on Your beloved children!
You: I could never. It is not in Me to do. I Am true and faithful. I Am the definition of those words. Now you may become true and faithful as a result.
Me: I want to be true and faithful! You know I do.
You: Yes, I do know this, and you are becoming the expression of My life through your life. You don’t see it happening, but I do. It is happening. In fact, although “it” is not complete, the exchange of My life for yours – in that the process is a transition in My kairos – it is finished…ipso facto.
Me: You always bring it back to the beginning again, but with more light and understanding.
You: Yes, that’s what I do. Because I love you. And because you ask! So many people (My people) ask amiss – they want their desires met in Me. They don’t yet realize that if they were to surrender their desires to Me, I would meet them where they are with My desires placed into their hearts…bringing us into agreement. Then their prayers are answered! It’s not as if I don’t want them to be happy with their little wants catered to. It’s just that I’d rather they be overwhelmed with My meeting their great desires and the Good longing in their hearts for more of Me and All of Who I AM… in them to be lived! It’s big. So much bigger than My people understand. BIG. Infinite and eternal, that’s Me. Who I Am. And My people are existing on the crumbs, a mere survival diet of Me. And this cannot and will not continue. If hunger does not increase, I will increase it.